“I never spend much time in school but I taught ladies plenty. It's true I hire my body out for pay, hey hey. I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up for Raquel Welch. But when I end up in the hay it's only hay, hey hey. I might jump an open drawbridge, or Tarzan from a vine. 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine.

80 days around the world, we'll find a pot of gold just sitting where the rainbow's ending. Time - we'll fight against the time, and we'll fly on the white wings of the wind. 80 days around the world, no we won't say a word before the ship is really back. Round, round, all around the world. Round, all around the world. Round, all around the world. Round, all around the world.

Ten years ago a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-team.”
—BMR, May 1, 2005

Beastmaster Romance was born on the cusp of 2004-2005, already almost six years old. So our story properly starts in 1999, when the Beastmaster was living in a small village called Lorain, in the far northern reaches of Iohi, a frozen land where Libb Oldsneyr was king ("Libb the ruthless"). King Oldsneyr was known for his imperial crusading, and was distinguished several times by his own sycophantic generals for valor in battle, as he invaded, conquered and then brutally governed parts of central Africa. After these conquests, he would return to Iohi with various forms of plunder, often including, we are told, pieces of the bodies of his victims, and put them on display in a gory gallery he called plainly, "the Africa room." The beastmaster had been active in the anti-colonial and anti-militarist movement in Iohi for as long as Oldsneyr had been king, but it was in this year, 1999, that he was approached by the shadowy leader of a group of revolutionaries, who was known only as "orange dog."

At the time, the Beastmaster was working in a home-made laboratory, which was little more than a shack, hidden under the water tower. Through experimenting with sub-standard equipment stolen from a small company soon to be swallowed up a corporate peddler of high-tech wares, the Beastmaster developed a signature sound, a bumpy form of electronic music that flirts with the organic and the acoustic. One day, as he sat at the console clicking keys, there was a knock at the door. It was Dar, an agent of orange dog. "I've never seen a...pilgrim...who could use a staff the way you did," Dar said. "But this is not a staff, my friend," the Beastmaster responded, "it is my bassbox." And thunderous sounds were heard.

Dar had come to ask the Beastmaster, already a distinguished activist, if he would join the rebel forces in staging a coup d'etat, to topple king Oldsneyr, and push history forward into the prophesized age of the recombinant. The Beastmaster gladly agreed, and abandoned his studio that same day, setting fire to his home as he left, with only a backpack of records on his back. Dar led him to the rebel compound at Vefe, where he spent several months in training, learning the arts of guerilla combat, self-craft, and recombination.

One day, during spiritual exercises, the Beastmaster thought he heard a voice. "Did you say something, master?" he asked. "No," orange dog replied, "I said nothing." And there was no one else in the room. "But I am sure I heard a voice," the Beastmaster replied. "Perhaps it was the dove on the windowsill that spoke to you," said orange dog. The Beastmaster thought this was unlikely, but again he heard the voice, and soon the dove flew close to the Beastmaster, and whispered in his ear:

"You are the Beastmaster of legend. All of the animals in the forest have heard of you, and we have been waiting for your arrival. You have the courage of an eagle, the strength of a panther, and the power of a god."

It was at this moment that the Beastmaster began his transformation, soon far eclipsing the physical and spiritual powers of his master. Through communion with the animals, the Beastmaster passed through several stages: a robot, a wookie, Dr. Doolittle, Dr. Frankenstein. Retreating to a secret lair in the mountains of Thanamant, the Beastmaster returned to creating music, shaping ungodly hybrids: bestial symphonic sorcery crossing swords with booty jams.

The Beastmaster's development was truly phenomenal, and he was soon introduced to a young statesman with questionable connections to a number of non-governmental groups, the First Lord of Rough Breaks, the Earl of Bandwidth. In June 2000, the Oldsneyr cabinet discovered Bandwidth's connections with these "dangerous" groups working with raw sound data, and removed him from his Lordship, demoting him to a post in the secretariat of spectacular alienation. This landed him in an office adjacent to the bureau of pre-revolutionary discontent, where the Beastmaster had just won an entry level post as a ruse to get rebel forces a foothold inside the system. The two young neighbors found that they shared an interest in sound synthesis and rough breaks, and started meeting outside the halls of government to work on a recording project they called Organ Eyes.